Finding God in Everyday Life: Accept Reality

One of the most powerful tools I ever learned was radical acceptance or how to accept reality. 

When I was diagnosed with three autoimmune conditions in 2021, I was devastated. I felt completely hopeless until I discovered a strict eating protocol with a proven track record in reversing autoimmune diseases. I was ecstatic!

But it is STRICT. There were a lot of foods that I enjoyed that I would not be able to have anymore (or not for a long time, until I was healed). 

It has been a lot of back and forth, fighting the reality: maybe my illnesses aren’t that bad? Maybe I could fudge a little here and not have any relapses? Maybe, maybe, maybe…

The “maybes” and compromises continued to hurt me and set me back. Something had to change with how I saw my situation.

But, more importantly, it pointed me toward a spiritual truth.

What does it mean to accept reality?

Psychology Today defines radical acceptance as “letting go of the need to control, judge, and wish things were different than they are”.

Why is it so hard to accept reality?

Reality is often very different from the circumstances, body, world, etc. we wish we would have had, and we tend to obsess over what we can’t control rather than what we can:

• We have expectations.
• We compare/covet.
• We grieve.

And we tend to fall into a victim mentality where we lament “if only, if only”.

How do I experience suffering when I refuse to accept reality?

Suffering is defined by Merriam Webster as “to submit to or be forced to endure”.

I’ve also heard suffering defined as reality being in opposition to our expectations.

I found that the more I fight against reality, the more worn out I am physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally because I am fighting against things I cannot change. I can adapt to them, but I can’t change them. 

I also found myself focusing so much on the reality I wanted that I had no space physically, emotionally, spiritually, or mentally for the things in my life that mattered and that I could control, like time with my beautiful kids and wonderful husband. I was hung up in an alternant “reality” than the one I actually had.

How do I radically accept reality and move on?

When I was grieving the loss of my older brother, God gave me a beautiful mental image to cling to: I could see myself in the ocean close to the beach with my feet up, letting the gentle waves bob me along. But if I anchored my feet to the ocean floor, the waves would pound me and knock me over. 

When grief would come along, I pictured it as the waves, and I would close my eyes and allow it to wash over me. Instead of feeling stressed about what I couldn’t bring back, I relaxed and allowed myself to feel the grief of losing someone I love.

When we are working to accept reality, it’s okay to grieve the life we once had or the life we wish we had.

We can trust that God is real

This brings me to the spiritual truth that God showed me in my health journey: radically accepting His sovereignty and authority over my life and the world changes everything!

Accepting the way that God created things (including me) and runs the world can be difficult to accept because we think we know better or we assume things about God that don’t line up with His Word, the Bible (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

Verses about God’s sovereignty, authority, and character

The final and highest authority comes from God: He is the One that created everything and dictated the laws of nature and morality. The sooner we can accept this reality and begin doing things the way He designed them to be done and submitting His authority, the better off we will be and the more fulfilling our lives will be.

There is so much to this subject, so, for the sake of space (and not overwhelming anyone), I will just touch on some verses that highlight His sovereignty and the goodness of His plans for you to meditate on this week.

He is all knowing.

• Proverbs 15:3
• Jeremiah 1:5
• Luke 12:6-7
• Isaiah 40:13-14, 55:8-9
• Romans 11:33-36
• Hebrews 4:12-13
• Acts 2:23

He has a good plan, and it’s different than ours.

• Isaiah 55:8-9
• Romans 8:28-29
• Proverbs 19:21
• Ephesians 1:11-12

He created everything, even you.

• Genesis 1
• Colossians 1:16
• Revelation 4:11
• John 1:3
• Psalm 139:13-14

How do I trust God in accepting reality?

While we work to radically accept the things we cannot change, we can radically accept the sovereignty, goodness, and plan of a Creator Who will never change.

Instead of seeking God’s Word for your own experiences, study the Word to learn about God’s character.

One of my favorite ways to do this is to practice the “Jen Wilkin method” (from her book Women of the Word): (this is a condensed version of her longer study method, which I highly recommend.)

No matter what verse or passage you are reading that day or how much time you have, ask yourself three questions about it:

1. What does this passage teach me about God?
2. How does this aspect of God’s character change my view of self?
3. What should I do in response?

Practice gratitude

Some days may be harder to do this than others, but it is SO important to focus on the things you are grateful for, no matter how trivial it might seem. Fill your mind with things you are thankful for! 

Turn the hard things into opportunities to see God and serve others

Instead of focusing on ourselves and turning it into self-pity, let’s take those things and turn them into opportunities to reach others. Maybe your area of hurt is an area of hurt you could disciple another person in. 

Comfort others with the comfort you were given

God comforts us when we are dealing with things (1 Corinthians 1:4) so let’s take that comfort that we were given and comfort others who are dealing with hard things.

Pray and trust the Holy Spirit to speak

Not only do we need to practice gratitude, but we need to take EVERYTHING to God in prayer, and He will give us peace (Philippians 4:6-7). The more we pray, are quiet, and listen for the Holy Spirit to speak to us, the deeper our relationship with and trust of God get.

Make it fun and challenge yourself to find ways to adapt

We may not be able to do things like others or like we used to, but we can make it fun by challenging ourselves to find different ways to do a thing. For example, I have fun experimenting and adapting recipes to fit the protocol I’m on.

Have FUN!

Go do something that boosts your mood! 

Share the gospel and fellowship

God designed us for relationship. He designed us to share Him with others. We need to make sure we make sharing Jesus with other people and being around other believers a priority.

Seek Professional Help

There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking professional help in the form of therapy or counseling if you are having a hard time accepting reality or moving on from something. Counselors and therapists can give you tools to help you grow. This would be a good place to look if you are not sure where to find someone: BetterHelp (not a sponsored post).

I’m not a Christian…

What are you waiting for? The God of the Universe wants a relationship with YOU!  

To learn how to accept Christ into your heart, visit this page.

You’re not alone.

Accepting God’s sovereignty, plan, and authority can be really hard because we have different ideas of how our lives should be. 

But you are not alone in your struggle.

Take it one day at a time, one step at a time. 

What is one step you are going to take today to begin accepting reality: God’s sovereignty, His Authority, and His perfect plan for your life, no matter what it may look like? What step are you going to keep doing until you get it down? Comment below!

I will keep posting helpful resources to guide people in their relationships with Christ. But it is also important to get plugged into a church fellowship with other believers that can strengthen you and help you grow. Visit this page to find a church near you!

Do you have any questions about this post? Feel free to ask them below!