God has used my health journey to speak to me heavily over the past several years. When the struggle with my health really began, I immediately began turning to every means I could think of to try to fix it: diets, lifestyle changes, therapy, supplements, exercise, etc. These are great tools, but my mind became consumed with it.
And that’s the problem with focusing on earthly things: it takes our eyes off of our spiritual reality. We are aliens and strangers in this world (Ephesians 2:19; 1 Peter 2:11), and no matter how good we take care of ourselves, we will die one day. I realized that my striving for health was meaningless without finding God in everyday life (Ecclesiastes 1:14, 2:11). My focus was in the wrong place, and I was making my health an idol. I struggled with depression because I was constantly trying to find hope in something that I could NEVER truly control.
There had to be more. There IS more.
Illness and Tragedy Helped Me Find God
My story is a long, drawn out one that spanned a couple of years, which I know a lot of you can relate to (and I know that many of you are struggling with a longer span of time). For sake of space, I will give you the short version and here is a link to the full story and testimony.
I became desperately, terribly ill in January of 2020. My symptoms peaked with a pretty consistent high fever, chest tightness, sinus infection, pain and chills all over my body, and a heart rate that stayed at 120. My doctor ran all sorts of tests trying to find answers. After about a month, I became so sick that I finally went to a local clinic, and they diagnosed me with walking pneumonia (probably COVID before it was popular).
But some of the symptoms remained: widespread pain, my feet cracked and bleeding to the point where I could barely walk, my fingertips cracked and bleeding, dry eyes, irritability, chronic sinus infections, and the FATIGUE, plus a large lump on my abdomen.
It took more than a year (mostly due to all the COVID restrictions) to finally get diagnosed with three autoimmune conditions: Hashimoto’s, Sjogren’s, and Scleroderma. And it took nearly a year to diagnose the lump on my abdominal wall (due to the rarity of the type of tumor): a desmoid tumor. I was completely devastated. These were conditions that had the potential to threaten my life or debilitate me.
Not only that, but two days after I was diagnosed with the autoimmune conditions, my older brother died suddenly in a tragic accident, and then, two days after that, my four-year-old daughter ended up in the hospital for four days with rapidly progressing pneumonia.
The depression and anxiety was overwhelming and the fear drove me into trying to control everything and everyone, leading to deep darkness and suicidal thoughts. I felt like it all depended on me to have it all together and to keep the people I cared about safe.
It Was Never Up To Me
I have believed in the power of a healthy diet and lifestyle for many years and tried almost every type of diet under the sun in an attempt to control my anxiety, chronic sinus infections, and skin issues. But the depression and anxiety that came from my diagnoses, my brother’s death, and my daughter’s hospital stay all in a row was beyond anything I had ever experienced.
I continued searching for “answers”, trying a new protocol* that I had never tried before. This one held, and it’s still the one I follow to this day.
And God, in His mercy and care, used this protocol to show me how I was misplacing my trust.
And it was so cool how God continued to meet me in my places of pain and desperation, showing me Himself in it all.
Finding God in Everyday Life: The Series
This post is the first, introductory post in a very long series about the things that God showed me through my health journey and my struggles with anxiety and depression. The things He showed me are the things that can’t be taken away, in this life or the next, and how our choices impact that reality.
The main point that God showed me about pain and suffering is that it is a lifeline that tethers us to where we really belong, our spiritual reality: eternity with Jesus if we accept Him as our Lord and Savior. He showed me that there are certain things that can be taken away and certain things that can’t.
My encouragement to you as we begin this journey is to look for the ways God is speaking to you through tragedy, joy, belongings, health issues, life circumstances, whatever you may be dealing with, struggling with, or not dealing with, or not struggling with. There is a heavenly, spiritual reality in it all!
What is the “Sign Act” in your everyday life that will help you find God?
I like to personally call these things a Sign Act.
Now. I want you to know that I’m taking a little liberty with calling it this. In the Old Testament, God called prophets to share His messages in ways that people could see and understand, even if some of those ways were super wacky and even disturbing at times. (Disclaimer: I am by NO MEANS calling myself a prophet. I’m not. And I believe that anyone who is tempted to call themselves one should tread carefully.) If you would like to learn more about Sign Acts, the Bible Project has an excellent article that you can read here.
Jesus did something similar through parables: using images and stories that the people of His day would easily understand to communicate truths about the Kingdom of God.
I believe God still does the same thing in our lives: using physical experiences to more clearly teach and show us His Biblical truth and for us to more clearly share His truth with others. I encourage you to look for Sign Acts in your own life.
Knowing that the physical journey we’re on in this world has spiritual ties is encouraging. Our hope truly lies in Jesus and THAT is what will never change.
He does want me to steward my body well because He is a God that cares. When I don’t take care of myself, and I feel like crap, it’s hard to live a life that glorifies Him and hard to love on others. But my body’s health can’t be my idol or the end of the matter (Ecclesiastes 7:8; 12:13).
What is the Sign Act in your life? What does finding God in everyday life look like for you? I encourage you to think about that as I share my journey with you and the message God has laid on my heart. Share in the comments below! I would love to hear what God is doing in your lives!
Another disclaimer: EVERYTHING comes back to the Bible. By talking about Sign Acts, I am not advocating for “fresh manna” or a “fresh word from God”. God has already spoken. Your Sign Act should come back to the Bible and reinforce its truth. If your Sign Act doesn’t, it’s time to reexamine. Everything I share will come back to the Bible, and if it doesn’t, call me on it.
*I won’t mention what the protocol is because I don’t want to distract from the message of the gospel and the point of this series.*
This is really good my love. God used me fleeing from everything loosing everything I knew to show me He still had a plan. There is so much more to say. Basically I failed but God in his mercy redeemed it all.
Thank you so much, my love! Thank you for sharing this. I’m so proud of you and the way you are growing in Jesus, and I’m glad we’re doing that together!